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Journal Of A Journey - Book Eight

Curt Bruch

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Feb 24, 2016
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Book 8

I struggle to accept that it’s only just over a week since we've seemingly turned yet another corner in our relationship. On one hand it feels like it was yesterday but on the other, it feels like something that happened so long ago. Perhaps her being ‘off limits’ with her period right now is fuelling my memories.

It's strange because now that it's over, now that she spent the whole night with him, it just doesn’t seem to have been that big a deal. Perhaps her attitude and how she was when she came home helped my acceptance as I do feel very much closer to her as she says she does with me.

I asked her what she liked best about her night with him. She hesitated and instead of answering asked me what I had been thinking about and what made me the horniest! Her response made me think that she was getting very clever about dealing with this.

I paused before answering, gathering my thoughts, then I just told her that it turned me on to think of her waking up with him, naked and them both being together. She said she wasn’t convinced that would make me horny given how I had reacted about them being together beforehand.

I told her the truth, that she was right, it was something that I'd not been happy about at first but I told her that afterwards that I found the memory incredibly arousing; that my wife had actually spent the night fucking another man all night.

She kissed me and hugged me and seemed relieved at what I'd said and I asked her again, what did she like the most. She smiled, giggled and quietly said she'd enjoyed falling asleep with him and then she said even more quietly, "with him still in me". When she saw my smile, that confirmed my answer to how I felt about that, she started to open up a bit more and said that she loved being able to just totally relax after having awesome sex. Then she said it, "like afterwards with you".

I had dreaded hearing her say something like that for I knew that one day I would hear her start to make comparisons, to be comparing the two of us. To hear her say it that way, even now almost a week later, her remark is still is there, fixed in my mind. She didn't say it again and I don't even know if she knew what she said but I remember it. The weird part is that a week later my dread has been replaced by me loving and thinking of her like that; able to give herself to him and now, hopefully, not being scared of telling me more.

******

It must have been Tuesday night when we had sex again. Afterwards, as we lay there I asked her, "so, what position was so good with him?”

She was in that giggly mood as she lay next to me and she just said something about how it was how she had described it in her last note to me, “with me on my knees.”

I had to go back and read the part in her note that she'd written. I found it, read it again and even now I'm horny thinking about her.

Actually, I re-read most of what she'd written to me. It is more like a book in that she told me things I had only guessed at or fantasized about. (I shall copy it here.)

She really opened up about everything and, true to her word, has made it sexier than the last note. I think it's incredible how she described things and I may send it in to Penthouse ... if she'll let me!

There is so much more that she wrote that might explain why I both cringe and almost cum at the same time reading it. To hold her in my arms now, knowing some of what she's shared with Peter, it's really an incredible feeling.

I am actually almost shaking as I'm pasting this in below. I feel like I'm baring her in front of everyone; I kind of like that feeling.

(As I read it over again I saw that I need to tell you that earlier in her note she said at one point how Peter likes her to refer to her pussy as her cunt, or at times, his cunt. She doesn't usually like to use that particular word so it's very interesting that she uses it here....)

“...when we go back to the room I hope to satisfy that part of his desire. I have told you before of how he likes to have me doggy-style when he really needs to fuck me instead of make-love to me. The only way I can describe it is that I am his "bitch" for as long as he needs me to be. I know it sounds horribly crude, but after I strip naked again and my cunt is still wet and open from the first time, I just love to get on my hands and knees at the edge of the bed and present myself to him.

I've looked back over my shoulder at him as he looks at me in that position. In the mirror I've seen how I look and it is obvious that I am in that position for him. And just like a female dog in heat, I almost long for him to fill me, almost as if there's an ache or an emptiness that he needs to fill.

Steve, at this moment I am all Peter’s. You remember we read that Penthouse Letter story where the woman described being "mounted" by her stud. When Peter truly WANTS me, I give myself to him fully. I lean forward with my head against the pillow and I present my cunt to him. There is nothing else he wants at that moment, so I simply give myself to him. And the thing is that I WANT TO that I WANT him to take me. At that moment, when I know he needs it, I present myself to him and make it clear that he is to use me as he wants to. Not as I want him to but any way he wants. I am so wet and open that he slips effortlessly into me. The wet slurping sounds would disgust me if they were not also so erotic. Somehow lying there and presenting myself to him at that moment is just his invitation.

And take me he does. I'm sorry if this bothers you but at that moment Steve, I want him to fuck me hard. I want him to push into me and feel how wet and open I am for him. I want to feel his hands on my hips pulling me back onto him over and over. For those few moments, the entire universe consists of his penis deep in my waiting vagina. The idea and knowledge of my being so wet from his sperm earlier is almost enough to make me cum. But when I feel his hands grasp my hips and causes me to move in unison with him. Oh god, it is just wonderful. It is only surpassed by the moment when I feel him hold my hips firmly and thrust in me so deeply and almost violently that I begin to cum just from the physical sensations. Finally, after what seems like even hours of time, I can now tell just when he is ready to fill me again. After so many times with him I now know just how he feels as he is on the edge. And all he wants me to do is lie there leaning forward "presenting myself" to him.

Finally, after what seemed like hours I can feel him on the edge. His penis seems to swell up even more and he begins to get erratic until just a few moments later he will pull me so firmly back against him and then I will feel him climax in me.

I don't always cum when he does, but when I know he has orgasmed in me there is this incredible rush of emotion and warmth that sweeps over my body. I push my ass and my cunt back towards him trying to encourage him to keep going as long as possible. But oh the emptiness after he is done and gone after pulling or slipping back out of me. And even though I may not actually have an orgasm with him, as I have told you before, the feeling I have at that moment is almost pure fulfilment and satisfaction. There's this sense of having fulfilled what god wanted when he designed our bodies, there's this deep sense of fulfilment knowing I have provided for Peter much as I do for you..."

Now, imagine that there is at least 3 or 4 times more of what she shared with me in that note! It is incredibly open, especially knowing how Suzanna is about talking about this stuff.

It was alarming when I first read it, alarming and exciting at the same time. I will say that she ended it so nicely. If you were to read what she's written, you would know what I mean, it was very calming and even now I still re-read it after posting the part above. But I have to say that re-reading that part above and thinking about her like that, it is driving me crazy to think about.

******

I know she gave a lot to Peter and I'm okay with that as I know it was what she wanted. I certainly know how she was afterwards and I do love the sense of how satisfied she feels. When I do look at her now or when we're in bed together I do think about Peter now knowing her as intimately as I do in so many ways, knowing she shared her body all night long with him. I also know from how she's been with me, even with her period, that it's been a good thing for us so far. Hard to express but that is how it feels.

Unfortunately we only had time for a ‘quickie’ on Thursday night before she announced her period had arrived a few days earlier than she'd expected. We haven't had much of a sexy mood since then either so there's not much more to share.

She did ask me if we could keep up our Wednesday's as a night when she knew we wouldn't be having sex. She teased me a bit and said I could still imagine it's because of Thursday's and that she'd play along with that. So I said okay to keep the desires going, but I suspect she was pms-ing on Thursday as she wasn't totally there after a busy day.

******

I've been quiet here because it's been quiet at home. Suzanna's period ended yesterday but she did say she wanted to continue our Wednesday-denial and I think she may have even been surprised that I didn't pester her last night! However, she seems to be horned up tonight so I suspect once the kids are in bed we'll pick up where we left off last week.

I'm still very enamoured of her and what she did. It still seems like a dream but when I see her changing either into her pyjamas (just a long t-shirt) or into her clothes in the morning all I can think of is her doing the same with Peter. It does still make me a bit queasy feeling but at the same time, my god, my cock just seems to stiffen up on its own!

******

She's been somewhat quiet about the whole thing so I guess I will have to start with the supportive comments and open discussions to get her to feel good about it. I think she may still be concerned about how I felt.

I do want to encourage her even if it means she wants another overnight with him. I also want to encourage her to maybe look beyond Peter as I do think she may like something a bit more frequent than an occasional overnight. I hope to hear her tell me what she really wants. At this point, I'm okay with either.

I've re-read her note to me so many times now and enjoyed myself to it several times over the past few nights with her out of commission! I do want to watch her; I think I can take it, I mean in my mind I've already gone through everything possible that they could do, but I do know it's going to feel weird to see and hear her cum with him. I sort of feel like I need to do it, and I'm hoping, will also include him doing the same! I honestly don't know how I'm going to react to it but I do want to find out.

******

It was quite an interesting weekend which actually began last Thursday evening after I'd added my last comments here.

Suzanna and I were in the bedroom getting frisky and at one point I said something to her about having her, "like Peter did". Well, that seemed to really ignite her desires because not more than a few minutes later she was kneeling at the edge of the bed just as she was with him.

We'd had a bit to drink and she was surely feeling uninhibited and I loved it. She leaned forward and I asked her if this was how she was for him. She nodded and then she reached back and sort of grabbed her butt cheeks and spread herself open and she just said into the pillow, "this is how he likes me".

That was quite the moment for me, it was one of the first times that I'd truly looked at her and realized just how into fucking him she was. Her pussy was opened up for me and she was wet, visibly wet, and it turned me on to think that she was maybe thinking about him at that moment.

I can see why he loves that position. Her hips are just the right height to grab onto and pull her back. I was very horny by then and knew she really wanted me to take her so I did. She had one of her hands rubbing away at her clit and every now and then she'd slide it down and just gently grasp me as I fucked her and tickle my balls too.

My orgasm was already building up as my own fantasy went through my head but she then started telling me how she loves for Peter to do this same thing to her and that really got me boiling inside. She was cumming too, her fingers made sure of that, and I cannot put into words how horny I felt at feeling her cumming on me and thinking she surely did the same with Peter.

The idea that Peter was where I was, feeling her pussy opening up then clenching down on him, knowing he could feel her cum just as I was totally drove me crazy. When I let myself think of how he must have felt just as I did, trying to hold back as long as I could. Every time I pushed into her she would push back against me. It was incredible.

Sometimes you just feel connected and at that moment I could feel it. She leaned forward with her face into the pillow and arched her back and I knew she wanted it. It was that same position she'd described and the same position that Peter felt too. She arched her back and pushed her pussy towards me and I was in her as deep as I possibly could be when I finally came too. It was intense, probably one of the best orgasms I'd had in a while. Her whole body shook as I held onto her.

She was embarrassed afterwards that she'd shown me some of what she'd done with Peter and it would take me to tell her I loved her and to hug her and kiss her before she said, "are you really okay with all of that?”

I just smiled and held her and said, "yes, as long as you and I still have what we just had, I'm fine with it".

That led to quite a bit of relaxation on her part. She would later tell me that she still felt very hesitant and cautious after sending me that note and then my knowing what she was doing. I told her again that it was incredibly arousing to think of her that way and that I wanted her to have all of what she wanted.

Over the weekend she came out with the thoughts that she misses her times with Peter and that the overnight was very intense for her. I pushed her and she said that she felt a little scared at how easily she went into it with Peter with little thought of anything else. She didn't come out and say it but I suspect she may not be totally comfortable with herself, maybe for how she felt with him. I pushed her a little bit and I asked her if she wanted to do another overnight with him at some point. I was surprised when she said an almost eager, "yeah" at first but then she said, "Well, maybe not as long or something like that".

I asked if she felt okay about it and she said, something about still thinking about it and that's when she said she missed the Thursdays more than she'd thought she would.

That part she was very open and comfortable about. She said she enjoyed the times that she's shared with him, that they were very special to her and she totally enjoyed them. She said something about the overnight maybe being ‘too much’. I didn't want to push her into opening up if she wasn't ready but when I asked, "what do you mean?" she just answered, "nothing; just something I've been thinking about".

******

Last night as we got settled in, we both knew we weren't going to have sex as between dinner and the hot day, we were both pretty tired but we did talk and she did finally come out and say that she'd been doing some thinking. She said, "if it's okay with you I would like to find someone for something more regular" and then she said quietly, "like it was with Peter".

I told her that I'd support whatever she wanted and I even offered to help find someone for her but shook her head and said that she'd let me know if she needed my help. I just answered that she'd done good the first time so I trusted her.

I haven't asked her about watching her again but I do want to this week. I think with the warm temperatures here that she's getting hornier as she usually does in the summertime, so the timing could be good.

******

Tonight we continued our no-sex Wednesdays. She knows it turns me on even if she's not seeing Peter tomorrow. I do know she misses it but I want her to decide what she wants; I just continue to be there.

I did ask her earlier if she was thinking about him and she nodded. That turned me on a lot, enough to know I want her to do whatever she wants so I just said, "it's up to you what you do, I'm okay with whatever you want" and that was sort of it.

She smiled and said I was sweet and then added, "But you're still waiting till tomorrow".

******

Apparently the whole quickie mid-day thing never worked for them. It seems that work got in the way and everywhere has changed so that everyone is busier. They did do it the few times that I knew about but she couldn't remember the last time.

It now seems quite normal now on Wednesdays that Suzanna encourages me to go into our office and find some porn to masturbate to.

This past Thursday night was prom-night so our son was out most of the evening. We had some wine with dinner and by the time our daughter was in bed Suzanna was very horny.

Ever since she spent the night with him I have her naked below me and I nudge her legs apart and start to play with her. If I just let myself think of her doing that with Peter I am instantly hard and ready! It's all mental but it's so intense to just let myself think about her with him.

She wanted it hard and once again turned around onto her hands and knees at the edge of the bed. We were both pretty worked up and when we finally got in my favorite position (her on her back with her knees apart and next to her tits!) she started saying stuff to me, trying to get me more and more excited.

She told me how Peter liked this position too and then she rolled to one side and pulled one leg way up and straightened the other. I followed her right over staying in her the whole time. She giggled and said that was how Peter did it too and then she said, "this is a position he likes a lot too." With that she sort of pushed her ass up and back towards me and her pussy was just there waiting for me. She told me to kneel over her thigh and to, "take me like Peter does".

I cannot tell you how that turned me on. The idea that this was a new position she'd tried and liked with Peter and was now sharing with me was just incredible. She felt so tight in some ways in this position but a little lubricant made her feel so damn good. She pulled her one knee up even more and it made her pussy open up just so that I felt like she pulled me right into her. I was ready to burst when she told me to lean forward and pull her knee in my elbow and hug her from behind. I did as she askedand pulled her knee up and it seemed her pussy just gaped open when I did this.

I knew he was physical with her but she felt like a rag doll under me as she seemed to just keep cumming. I was just about to cum in her when in between her moans she said, “This was how Peter fucked me before we fell asleep together with him still in me.” No, she didn't say it quite like that, she more sort of grunted it out but I heard her and, Wow, that was it, I exploded in her like never before, a flood of cum gushed out of me! She squealed and even I could feel how hot it was in her pussy.

We'd both just sort of ********** and more or less just drifted off into a pleasant post-fuck haze. A little later I felt her move and I realized she was straightening her leg out and I again thought of what she said about her and Peter having done just what we'd done. All I could do was just look at her back, feel her breathe next to me, feel my cock still slick between her ass cheeks and the tip still in her pussy and damn if I didn't start to get hard again!

The idea that this was what they'd done, that she'd possibly cum like that with him; that he'd taken her like that, made me feel so proud of her letting herself really go. It honestly didn't bother me in the least that it'd been Peter fucking her or that she'd given herself so freely to him if this was truly how she was; it just made me feel really good about it all. I know they may have slept the night like that and yet it really didn't, and still does not, bother me. We did wake up a short while later when it was getting closer to our son getting home and she seemed almost embarrassed as we got out of bed. I held her in the bathroom and just asked calmly, "did you cum like that with Peter?”

She still seemed hesitant to reply so I told her I loved her and that I hoped she had. She seemed to calm a bit and then quietly said, "More". It took me a second to realize she was answering my question and I just hugged her and kissed her and told her that I loved that she'd had ‘more’ with him than we'd even just had. She wouldn't look at me but as we hugged I said, "Are you sure?" I pushed her head back and held it so I could stare in her eyes and said, "As long as you come home to me afterwards, I will always love you".

We didn't really talk more as our son did come home shortly afterwards.

******

Again last night I knew she was just as horny as me but I also knew she was still embarrassed and quiet about telling me anything. I finally just said to her, "can't you see it turns me on to hear what you do with him?" I added something like, "I know he makes you cum and I hope he makes you scream". Then I just came out with it and asked her if I could watch them again.

She looked like a deer in the headlights. She didn't say anything at first but then just said, "do you really think you'll be okay?"

I nodded and said yes.

Then she said it, "can you be okay watching him and me like we were last night?".

I said, "I think so and I want to".

With that she smiled - actually she smiled a lot - and then she started to talk!

She said she has been very hesitant about everything actually since last December when I tried to watch them. She said that when I left she just felt like she was hurting me and she couldn't take that and that, yes, she certainly did have good times and such hasn't felt comfortable doing more with me or sharing more with me since. She said she just felt like she didn't want to hurt me despite everything I've said since. I assured her I'd meant what I said and I wasn't sure what else I should have done to make her feel better with all of this.

Then she just said something like that now she knows I want to be there with her again and share it with her that I’m guessing she finally may believe me?! She said that when I'd hesitated or not even mentioned wanting to be there and watch or be a part of it that she'd felt sort of weird about the whole thing at home and doing more even though I said I wanted that.

It felt weird; I guess it was sort of similar to my moments of epiphany when I made myself finally understand that I was okay with Suzanna doing this with Peter to whatever degree she wanted. It sort of made sense and thinking about it again today, I guess maybe my running out of their room just as she began to open herself up to him may have left her with bad feelings inside.

We started to kiss and mess around almost immediately and she was very passionate, VERY passionate. She told me all sorts of things as we fucked - it wasn't making love, we were fucking - she wanted it and I was more than ready to give it to her again.

She started that slut talk again, “He stayed in me most of the night .... It felt good having him so deep in me" and other stuff but when she said, "he loves cumming in me" bingo, that was it, I shot off like a cannon and she followed right along.

I rolled off her and started laughing at what she'd finally shared, that she wanted, maybe even needed me to be there with her before she'd believe it, as if all those Thursday nights weren't enough!

That's it, she's been wicked happy and wickedly up for it since then. She's bouncing around the house today and she said that later tonight she wants to get a calendar out. I didn't know what she meant till she whispered, "so we can figure out what night will work for us silly!”

******

Suzanna kept to her request for Wednesday to be a no-sex night for us. Thursday evening came around she teased me quite a bit before we actually got to having sex. She said she wanted to act out the evening the same as it used to be when she'd be with Peter. I didn't understand what she was saying until she left me downstairs watching TV at about 9pm when she put our daughter to bed.

I went upstairs maybe 15 minutes later and our bedroom door was locked and I could hear her soft moans inside and a faint buzzing noise. I knew she was masturbating with one of her toys. I stood outside the door for a few moments and then just thought to what she'd said about wanting it to be like other Thursdays had been.

I went back downstairs about 9:30pm and said goodnight to our son and to my surprise he said something about, "mom already said goodnight" that she was going to bed early so about 10-15 minutes later I went back upstairs and this time the door was unlocked.

She had the lights dimmed in the room, a dirty-movie was on the TV with the sound turned down and she was lying there under the sheet on the bed reading a Penthouse Letters magazine. Her clothes and underwear were on the floor next to the bed. She smiled up at me so I just undressed and slipped in next to her under the sheets and moved in to kiss her.

She turned her head to me and said, "You'll have to wait till Peter is done" and with that I pulled the sheet back to find that she had her blue ‘gel’ dildo in her pussy set to a low-vibrate speed! I got on my knees and watched as she pulled it out of her pussy and then gently pushed it back in. From the lubricant bottle sitting on the headboard I knew she was very wet. It was obvious she'd cum a few times already from how swollen her pussy looked to how hard her nipples were! I reached down and took the end of the dildo from her and took over being Peter and finishing her off. I felt her cum again as I pushed it in and out of her.

Finally after she'd caught her breath she took my hand off and she pulled the toy out of her now well used pussy. All she said was, "Mmmm, Peter was good but now it's your turn" and then she added, "I hope he didn't leave me too messy for you!". Before I pushed myself into her she handed me the lubricant and I didn't need to be told what to do.

After her last orgasm not more than a moment earlier my lubed up cock slid right into her wet pussy which was still opened up from the dildo. She put her legs around my butt and pulled me into her more deeply. She was really opened up inside and I slid all the way in without any resistance and, my god, was I hard inside her.

She whispered, "Do you like how I feel?" All I could do was nod and moan, "mmm hmmm" back to her. At that point she started to really turn it on saying stuff like, "This is how I'm going to feel if you have me right after Peter has finished."

Her blue dildo is pretty big (it's about my length but it's much thicker than me) and she told me it was fat like Peter and how Peter really liked how she felt after their first time when they spent the night together. She made a point of telling me how this was sort of how she felt that night, VERY open and VERY wet inside.

She then asked me if I thought I was going to want to, "be with her" the night I come to watch them together. Just hearing her ask me that almost set me off. I managed to tell her that I didn't know she would want me to and that I remembered that Peter wasn't into a creampie from me and then she killed me with her reply, "I just want to know if you want to feel how I feel" and she added, "I didn't mean I would want you to cum in me!"

Wow, I exploded in her at that statement. It was a tremendous event to hear her say that to me, that she might actually ask me to NOT cum in her! She laughed at how I just let loose from what she'd said and said, "We may just have to see about this won't we?"

******

Friday morning she continued on with her re-enactment of her time with Peter. She got up and remained naked while she pottered around the bedroom before we had to go down to the kitchen to make lunch for our daughter and to start getting ready for work. As she stood in the bathroom she caught my attention and pointed to the wetness that was seeping out of her and said, "Oh my, Peter really left me messy didn't he?!” Once the washcloth was wet she proceeded to put one foot up on the toilet and let me watch her clean up. All I could think was that this was how she and Peter probably were the next morning after she had stayed over.

******

Friday night we were both horny again and she continued on with her teasing, this time telling me that she and Peter were close to figuring out when I could come and watch them. She told me again, almost excitedly, that she really did want me to be there with them and that she hoped I would be able to be okay. I told her that I thought I would be okay and that I definitely did want to give it a try.

She teased me again once the kids were off for the night. She locked the bedroom door behind us and as she just got undressed said, "This is how I like to be for Peter".

We had some wine and watched another blue-movie on the TV and all the while she just sat there stark naked sometimes sitting ‘Indian style’ in which position her pussy just gaped open. She saw me staring and said, "Peter loves to look at all of me like this" and with that she raised one knee to let me see more of her pussy.

Again she let me finally push my way into her (with lots of lubricant) she again said, "oooh, don't you like what Peter does to me" and other stuff to simply push me over the edge. She even giggled that, "you're sure not lasting very long are you?!”

******

Over the weekend though she told me she'd firmed up plans with Peter. They are thinking of the Friday night before Memorial Day weekend. Later this week is out as she's due for her period again and then she reminded me that she's usually ‘extra horny’ right after she's done (as if I needed to be reminded!).

******

Saturday was busy with one of our niece’s communions and after eating and drinking the afternoon away, neither of us was very horny that night.

******

Last night she started talking to me again about watching them. She asked me over and over if I was sure I'd be okay and I kept on telling her that I hoped I would be and that I really did want to be there. At one point she just came out and asked me, "how are you going to feel when you see him cum in me; Are you going to be okay?"

I just held her, kissed her and told her that I know that moment will be one of the most difficult for me but then I told her that I really did want to be there for that moment. I even told her that I had thought of holding her hand at that moment just to share in it with her. She LOVED that idea.

She then asked me something, that if it might be easier if I wasn't so horny? I didn't know what she meant until she said softly, "maybe you could masturbate before so you weren't so horny?” I told her that I wasn't sure how I'd feel if I wasn't worked up sexually but that we could consider it.

She then added that it might be better rather than her previous suggestion that I "have her" after Peter's done that it might be better if I didn't. I just looked at her and said, "whatever you want baby; I'll try." I wasn't really thinking clearly and am now wondering just what will happen.

We talked more after sex last night and Suzanna reassured me ten time over that she really really wants me to be there and have a good experience watching them. She repeated to me that since I came out to her again and said that I did truly want to watch them that she feels so much better about everything. That much I can surely tell!

******

I didn't come out and ask her if she wanted to humiliate me, nothing that direct. I just asked her why she now seemed so intent on having me there to watch her.

She said that ever since I walked out on them that time I tried to stay and watch she says she's had this doubting feeling that this was something I really wanted to do. I told her again that I do want her to continue with whatever she wanted, be it Peter or whoever, and that I did enjoy what we've been doing.

She said that she knows it's crazy and, maybe, subconsciously she has other motives, but what she said to me is that if I'm there with her and she sees and knows that I am okay that she thinks it'll give her some sort of confidence in knowing she can believe me. At least that's what I got out of what she said.

This isn't the first time she's said this to me and only in the last day or so have I thought back to other times when she's said things that make me sort of understand what she is thinking. I guess maybe when I walked out of there despite my encouraging her by phone and text message that I wanted her to stay with him, that maybe she's still doubting my sincerity. Crazy, right? Even after she spent a night with him and I've nothing but loved it, she's still unsure.

Could she be thinking something else subconsciously? I suppose so, but then again I'd also say I maybe reading too much into what she's doing just in a different way?

I don't know more about that but what I do know is that a week from Friday I hope to see my beautiful wife in person do what I've fantasized about for years.

******

She just sprung the most intense surprise on me. I have been pawing after her for the past day or so knowing her period will be over either today or tomorrow. I hinted around that we should plan to make some time tomorrow night. Being upstairs in the bedroom she turned to me and very calmly just asked me, "what would you say if I asked you to wait until after Friday night?"

I nearly came in my pants to hear her ask that! Wow, something I never thought I'd hear from her, that she's gone past thinking about this, to come out and ask me. I'm still hard right now almost 45 minutes later!

I told her that I would need to think about it. She kissed me and teased me and said she'd, "help me out" in other ways.

Over the weekend, on Saturday night, Suzanna asked me to masturbate for her. She said she just wanted to watch me. I was a little surprised as it's just not something she asks me to do that often, especially not during her period. She offered to strip and let me look at her to get hard and she offered to put on a bit of a show for me (as much as she could).

I of course said yes and I got off once and she seemed to enjoy it, even almost orgasming herself too. Then she asked me to do it again. I told her I needed a little time between as she well knew so we just hung out and, sure enough, she didn't let up. One TV show later she asked me again, "let me watch you again". It took a little longer the second time but I finally got off again and she had this big smile and said she loved watching me and she helped me get cleaned up.

Later that night before we went to go to sleep she rolled over and kissed me and started masturbating me herself. It took a bit but I got hard again even if it was a bit tender. She seemed to get into it and, sure enough, I did feel a 3rd load getting started. When I thought she might suck me or finish me off herself she asked me softly, "how about you finish it off?”

******

She asked me early afternoon Sunday how I felt. I didn't get what she was asking at first until I realized what she meant. She was asking if I was horny at all. I said no, that I really wasn't after the 3 times the night before. She smiled at that and then last night she asked me again if I was horny and to be honest, I still wasn't (I'm not so young any more). She smiled again and I finally had to ask her what the hell was going on.

This is what makes tonight's short conversation so exciting, she told me last night that she was thinking of asking me to do it again on Thursday night. She actually said this (and I'm thinking she must have found something on a website to think this way which I haven't asked her about) but she actually said that she might want me to do it again, masturbate like 3 times on Thursdays so that Friday night might be easier on me if I wasn't very horny!

Even now I'm just like stunned at her, that she's actually now thinking about this and willing to talk to me or even tell me something like this.

I think I'm going to say okay to her asking to wait till Friday or later for us. I mean if she asked me it probably means she had to work herself up to it so she must really want it. I'm not sure about her request for Thursday though as I just may prefer to be horny on Friday night, if I can even hold out.

This is like such a turn for her, I haven't really seen this in her yet, her truly wanting something sexually enough for her to ask for it! What a total turn on; I feel like I'm on a cloud, it all feels so incredible. I know it's playing with fire but oh how I want to feel her heat.

It's going to be a long week and I know if I let myself think about what she asked me tonight I’m liable to cum in my pants without even touching myself! She’s just ran out to the food-store leaving me here to just dwell on it all.

******

She continued her fun tonight. With her period over she willingly sat there in front of me and encouraged me to masturbate while looking at her pussy.

I asked her what was up with her newfound desires and she just smiled and giggled. Again I asked her and she said that she'd read some old Penthouse Letters stories that I'd obviously enjoyed (she paused and took me a moment to understand that they must have looked ‘used’ to her) and one of them got her stoked up but she'd never gotten the nerve up to ask me about it. She added that since knowing other people had the same desires she felt more confident about all of this since knowing I want to be there on Friday night. I must have smiled or maybe my stiff cock gave me away as to how I felt about what she just said.

I felt sort of strange looking at her naked in front of me as she gently played with herself and encouraged me along, knowing what she wanted. She started to tease me a bit, gentle moans, and then she said quietly, "you're going to watch us" and then she moaned again. I let go a few minutes later all over her leg and she sat up and did the last few strokes which felt awesome.

I'm just going to go along with it. It's clear it's what she wants. I would love to fuck her but I'm okay for a bit longer just stroking away for her. It is very intense to look at her in bed or anywhere for that matter and think about Friday. I won't say I have no concerns (and it is taking a lot of focus to not go there) but I do want to do it. Actually, at this point, I feel like I have to do it; I have to be there with her. It surprises me that I want it but I do. I want to see and experience this with Suzanna.

******

I am surprised she's sound asleep already as my mind is racing at what tomorrow will bring.

We were both busy last night with our own stuff to tend to, her with family stuff and me with work-related stuff so it wasn't a sexy night. We didn't even really talk about it other than a casual question from her if I was still okay with everything.

Tonight though (again after the kids were off for the night) we were in the bedroom and she came out and asked me, "do you think you'll be more comfortable tomorrow if you're not quite so horny?"

I knew what she was asking as she had already come out and suggested it to me earlier but I also knew she wanted to hear me say it was going to be okay. So I told her that it might be easier if I wasn't fighting a raging hard-on the whole time tomorrow. It was a weak reply but it didn't matter, it turned me on to hear her say it and it turned me on even more that she wanted it.

She slipped off her robe and leaned over and kissed me. As she did she reached into my boxers and got me started. Then just as the other times she leaned back against her pillows and pulled up her night shirt. I was so taken with watching her that she had to remind me to masturbate! "Are you thinking about me and Peter?" Wow, did my cock respond to that. She went on and on as she ran her finger up through her pussy and then gently spread it open. I don't remember in what order she said them but I know she said, "You want to see him in me don't you?" and at one point she said, "Right in here" and at that point she had 2 fingers in her very wet pussy.

I didn't last long and she had this huge smile as I spurted all over the place. I knew she loved knowing I'd cum while looking at her and thinking about her.

After we cleaned up we put on the TV. As we got into bed she kissed me and asked me if I wanted to go one more time adding, "for me?”

I won't say I was really in the mood for a second time but I also just felt so turned on by her actually asking me. She lay next to me and gently got me started. I didn't need her to pull up her shirt or anything, the more I thought of her wanting me to masturbate for her the more I wanted to.

She knew when I was getting close and she looked up at me, just said, "I love you" and then pulled my hand away and she sucked me to the end. It was incredible. Usually my second times aren't as intense but when she did that (and she's done it lots of times, always chooses to surprise me) it was wild.

We both got under the covers afterwards as there wasn't anything to clean up (she didn't even share it with me either) and all I could do was just think about tomorrow night. The plan is for me to go to their hotel and that when I am getting close, I'll call her cellphone and we'll all meet in the bar. I'll fend for myself for dinner (our kids think we're going to a work-related dinner/dance kind of thing) and we told them that if we had too much to drink that we'd be staying overnight so we're covered either way if things happen.

******

I’m wired, it's after midnight and at this point it is what they call a fate-accompli inasmuch as it's going to happen and I can honestly say that’s what I want; I actually think that I need to be there. I am now used to hearing it in my brain that I actually do want to see Peter fuck her. I mean, I did the math quickly and he's probably fucked her maybe 50 or 60 times, and it's time that I’m there for one of them. I looked at her tonight as she spread herself for me and thought that she's going to do that for him tomorrow night.

I think what I really want to be there for is to just hold her hand and be with her as she orgasms and lets herself go under him. I think it'll be intense to feel her like that. Of course, I do want to be there and hold her when he cums. I’m not quite sure how I'm going to react at that moment but I know I want to be there and experience it with her. The idea of him cumming inside her is both such a scary thought for me but also probably the most intensely arousing thing I can think of.

I think Suzanna was right that at least I do now feel sort of calm. I'm not all hard and horny but my mind is racing. I'm sure I'll fall asleep eventually.

******

The plan as it stands now is that I am meeting them at the hotel bar at 7pm.

Suzanna assured me that they would not have ‘started already’ without me but she did say that they would have a few drinks before I get there.

I do not know what the plan is for later though.

****

I DID do it, I stayed and watched as Suzanna and Peter had passionate sex this past Friday night. It was incredibly difficult at times and yet at the end all I could feel was incredible envy at the pleasure she had.

I did watch as Peter passionately and physically fucked her. At some points I was nearly sick to my stomach but at others the slightest touch of my cock would have made me burst.

Surprisingly, watching him actually cum in her was INCREDIBLY amazing to see and not nearly as difficult as I’d expected.

******

It helped that we met in the bar at the hotel and Suzanna greeted me with a big hug and kiss. She then re-introduced me to Peter. We actually had a very pleasant 45 minutes or so during which time Suzanna got a bit buzzed. I saw what Suzanna liked in him, he was just normal. It was awkward until Suzanna said something like, "are you two going to be okay?”

I just said that I wanted to see her have a good time and that seemed to sort of break the ice.

On the way up to their room (that was an eerie feeling thinking of it as ‘their room’) Suzanna started with him. Once in the room they moved toward the bed and I stayed in the bathroom/closet area alcove. There was a chair in that corner at the foot of the second bed in the room so I pretty much stayed far from them as they got comfortable together.

I knew what to expect and I was right. Not more than a few minutes after we got in the room Suzanna started to undress. I liked watching her, it seemed like it was a video or something like that I was looking at from across the room. He was still dressed but she'd reminded me that she liked to be naked with him. They kissed and this time it did get to me, his hands all over her. It was like a repeat of last time, her back to me and his hands all over her. I swore to myself I would stay and a second later she did what she did last time when I had to leave, she hunched down a bit and spread her legs and I knew he was going to feel her pussy.

I made myself watch even though I swear I was about to almost lose it. I don't know if I was going to cry but it felt like my heart was being ripped out. I saw his fingers between her legs and a second later I saw her head gently roll back and side to side and I knew his fingers were in her. I made myself watch as she humped herself on his hand and it was like watching my own porno movie with seeing her back wriggle back and forth. Only it wasn’t a movie, itwas my wife.

Intense is maybe the only word to describe it. I knew when I'd made it that far that I would be able to make it. I wasn't sure how I'd feel afterwards as it already felt very awkward and uneasy watching just his fingers and her reaction.

******

Even now, 5 days later, I'm still trying to sort out how I feel.

We, Suzanna and I, are very much still enjoying the after-effects. I won't say I feel differently about her at all, more that I have a different, very different, perspective on things. Right now it's not good or bad; just another view of what has always been there, us together.

That said, I have to say that the images I still can see so vividly anytime I close my eyes, are incredibly arousing in many ways. As Suzanna has said to me several times since last Friday, it is what I wanted and I don't regret it, at least not yet.

Suzanna seems to have chosen well with Peter as he is clearly not interested in anything more than a good fuck (as Suzanna has said to me herself when I have raised issues about how far she lets herself go with him). I do see risks; the next guy could touch her in a different way and could cause things to change. That is if there is a next guy. She's said some things about being satisfied with an occasional time with Peter at times and yet at others she has said she wants something more.

Once I got over the initial ‘shock’ of seeing her give herself to him and was able to breathe again, it seemed to become easier for me but it’s still just not what you can adjust to right away. I mean I knew what they did but seeing it in front of me made it real instead of just something she shared with me. As it started to sink in that this was real, I started to sort of get into it, at least in terms of wanting to see it all.

At some point I moved closer but still on the darker side of the room and I stayed quiet. Not that they were that noisy but then again Suzanna isn't really that noisy until she's close to orgasm. I think what gave me the most surprise was just how comfortable they were with each other. I know it's been about a year already they've been at it but it just didn't register that I'd see him being so casual with her in the same way that I am with her.

She just took his cock in her mouth and started sucking him hard. Now that was a heck of a turn-on! She can't deep-throat or anything like that but she looked incredible licking and sucking away at what she could. I remember thinking at the time that she can probably taste him already.

I loved how she looked so proud of her accomplishment when he was big and hard. “Good for her, “ I thought. It was obvious from how she was with it with her eyes closed, one hand between her legs at times rubbing away at her clit (she does that with me too) that she was enjoying it. I said before that I felt proud of her and I'll say it again, it was totally hot watching her get Peter all worked up and watching him get her going. I remember noticing her nipples were hard too, another sign she was horny.

It was just like a porno movie. I think Peter said something like, "are you ready?" and her answer was a yes and that was it. The moment of my most intense fantasy was about to begin.

She never looked over at me, neither did Peter, but I will never forget the sight of my wife lying on her back and spreading her legs for another man. Her pussy was visibly wet from where I sat quietly. It was wild watching her masturbate as Peter climbed between her spread bent knees.

That sight was only surpassed by the sight of him rubbing the tip of his cock up and down Suzanna's spread open pussy! For some reason I had a thought of stopping it; as he did this a part of me just wanted to yell out stop and to push him away but then I heard them, I heard Suzanna in this sexy sensual voice that I only hear when she's totally into fucking, she said something like, "stop teasing already" and a moment later I watched something that both made me sick as well as made my cock throb wildly, - Peter started to push into her.

Suzanna asked me later on why I stayed so far away at first and I told her I didn't want to freak them out. She told me that after the first time when I didn't go postal on Peter, that he was okay with it and that they'd talked about how it was a turn-on for me so they were expecting me to move closer. I was going to ask why she didn't tell me to come closer but I knew she wasn't thinking about me at the time.

Seeing him push into her like that; seeing her want him like that; seeing her pull her knees back and seeing her arch her back to let him in more, Wow, it's getting me worked up just typing this. Yes, there was definitely pain at watching this despite how beautiful and clearly enjoying herself she was and it did hurt to see it actually happen. Even now, if I could remove one moment it would be these first few seconds/minutes. There’s something about the tenderness and intimacy of them at that moment that just eats at me.

Every time I've fucked her since then I've thought about that moment. Despite the hurt (and that's not the right word as it's not something bad that I feel) it is the most intense turn-on I can imagine. Seeing her let him into her pussy and seeing her open up for him and then, oh god, then encouraging him to take her, that was intense but didn't hurt to see her encourage him to do her harder. I don't remember what she said but she was clear to him that she wanted him.

It was almost like watching two animals mating and not my wife and her lover. I remember going to adjust my pants and thinking that I'd better be careful so I didn’t just cum in my pants!

She said she gave all of herself to him and as they continued of that there was no doubt. She let him hold her legs back, pushing her knees almost back to her breasts and her pussy was facing almost straight upwards, and the whole time he's fucking her. Right in front of my face, her pussy so wet and open and clinging to him.

It seemed like it could go on forever and I could watch forever. I've seen other people fuck but never like this and certainly never where it was Suzanna on her back like that. They did get louder with moans accompanying each time their crotches meet. What struck me were the sounds, wet sticky sounds.

Suzanna had cum several times, some bigger than others. She is very multi-orgasmic (why else would she do this if she weren't?) and always has been with me. She says it only happens (happened before me until now?) when she's really comfortable with the guy.

I knew what was coming up and it is strange to say even now that after watching them for a few minutes, I actually found myself actually wanting him to finally cum in her. It felt like watching a movie and wanting to see the ending. As much as I thought I was prepared, there is just something incredible about seeing it for real that first time.

Suzanna had told me many times how Peter likes to ‘plunge deep’ (as she says) several times as he cums in her (every time she tells me that when we're fucking I almost cum immediately!). This was it for real. He had her legs held back by his extended arms and she was still thrusting herself upwards as he was downwards and I saw his back muscles start to tighten up. His rhythm changed for a second and then I saw him do it. My god, he plunged into her enough that she gasped out loud. Her pussy looked so raw and so swollen open for the second he pulled back and then he drove into her again.

A part of me wanted to cry but, Wow, the other 99.99999% of me was totally into it. It seemed to me as if Suzanna was somehow trying to give even more of her body to him the way she was thrashing up at him.

A split-second later he pushed all the way back into her and this time he stayed and as I saw him pull back and then push in like 2 or 3 times and then pull all the way back; I knew he'd just started to cum in her. He let out a sound I can't describe and drove himself back into her and she squealed as he stayed deep in her. As I stared at him on top of her he just kept sort of grunting and thrusting gently. Suzanna moaned away as I just sat there looking knowing he was cumming deep in her.

It took every bit of strength I had to not break it out and jerk-off right then and there but I guess I got lost in that moment because the next thing I knew was that they were kissing and hugging and enjoying their moment. I wasn't even paying attention as all I could keep in my head was what I'd just seen. I know the first thought I had when I realized my mind had wandered off was, "did he pull out of her yet?" and suddenly that just became something I had to see, almost as if seeing it would be evidence that it did just happen.

Sure enough, a minute later, Peter moved back upright onto his knees. The sight of his cock slipping out of Suzanna's pussy and leaving a trail of cum behind is just wild to think about now.

I wanted to move over and look but I stayed still and it was a good thing because Peter leaned over and kissed her and then said something quietly to her and he walked into the bathroom still not really looking at me. She told me later that he said that she should make sure I was okay while he was in the toilet.

I didn't know that, all I saw was Peter walk towards the bathroom and her roll over and she quietly said, "do you hate me?”

I knelt next to her bed and kissed her and said, "no, I'm jealous of you!” She gave me that giggle again and called me crazy. I gave her a gentle kiss one more time as we heard Peter come out of the bathroom.

******

It is hard to believe it's been over a week now but now, and I suspect forever, I'm never going to forget what I saw. Still, just to think about them - him - her - them - it gets me hard right away!

I will say that every night that Suzanna and I have had sex since then all I can think about is seeing his cock slip out of her and seeing her freshly fucked, cum-filled pussy right there not 10 feet away from me. There is something so intense about seeing it happen, something I hadn't really anticipated, that it's real and it's Suzanna lying there and it's Peter pounding away at her.

After the first few moments I actually sort of started to root for them, wishing he'd take her harder and deeper and wishing she could pull her legs back even further. Seeing him grinding against her, knowing he was so deep inside her, seeing it instead of having to imagine it was much more intense in so many ways.

It was somewhat humbling, not humiliating, but humbling to see her arch her back and cum just about when he did. I did feel my stomach churn as I saw him pushing into her as I knew he was cumming but at the same moment, oh my god, I have never felt so sexually turned on about anything (well, except for maybe my first fuck). Somehow, knowing he was cumming in her just as he had for so many weeks and months before, it just turned me on and still does.

She just lay there afterwards with not a care in the world, her knees still up and her hips seeming to be pushed back still. Seeing her like that, seeing her dreamy eyes up at Peter as he pulled out of her, Wow, what a feeling. I didn't feel bad or threatened at all instead all I could think and feel was that she looked so fucking good lying there. Clearly WELL FUCKED! I've left her like that many times but to see her after Peter did it maybe that I hadn't yet cum made it all the more intense.

I did look at his cock and I'll admit it, it did look good semi-hard with cum still oozing. Knowing where he'd been I will even say I think I knew how Suzanna felt when she took him gently in her mouth and ‘cleaned him off’ as she later told me.

True to her word, she seemed to be totally comfortable lying there with cum running out of her. She made no effort at all to clean up or to even cover up. She didn't look at me but it was clear she did not care that either I or Peter were looking, staring at her.

I’m not sure of how much time went by, it all seemed to happen so fast and yet it also seemed to be painfully slow at times. I suspect maybe an hour or so had passed since we'd gone back to the room.

I remained quiet, still not sure if I should say or do anything but not wanting to upset what was going on as they seemed oblivious to me. They put a hotel-porn movie on and lay on the bed caressing each other and whispering and laughing. I could hear some of what they said and all it did was turn me on even more to hear her talk of how she loved to feel him so deep and also of how Peter loved how she felt ‘inside’.

I sat way back on the other bed in the room against the headboard and watched and, sure enough, maybe 30 minutes later there was motion and activity on the other bed.

Suzanna had rolled onto her side sort of facing in my direction and Peter moved up behind her and pulled her right leg up to her chest. A second later Suzanna pulled her leg up even higher and Peter climbed up and straddled her leg and he just pushed right into her.

This was the position she'd shown me. She pulled her knee up even more and pushed her lower back towards him pushing her pussy into better position.

I felt like I was in a trance; she was just lying there letting him pound at her and then she opened her eyes and looked at me and smiled. I will never forget her staring at me for a second as Peter pushed into her even more. She gave me a sultry look and then just closed her eyes and pushed back even more. She told me later that she saw me and could tell from how I looked that I truly was okay with it. She also said that when she closed her eyes at that moment and when I saw her push back that she had such an intense orgasm at that moment!

I watched as Peter just fucked her in that position. I could have watched all night but a few minutes later he pushed hard into her and then remained still. I will always remember the smile on her face as he came in her a second time.

I loved watching it. I didn't feel threatened at all this second time, maybe her sultry look at me or whatever, but I felt nothing but pride, so proud of her that she'd let herself get fucked like that, the way she wanted it.

She rolled to her front after he pulled out and he knelt above her and just kissed her back. She rolled over under him and they kissed again. I actually felt so good for her at that moment - how could I feel bad after watching the woman I love experience such heights of pleasure!

When I came back out of my daydream Peter was getting up off of her and he looked at me for a moment and then smiled and said to Suzanna that he was going to wash up.

That was the first moment in several hours that I went over and sat next to her and just caressed her hair and her face and her back. She put her arm out around my waist and pulled me to her.

Now I still didn't know what the plan was but I knew I desperately wanted to fuck Suzanna! Peter came out of the bathroom and said he had to be going. Suzanna had rolled over and pulled a bedsheet over her by this point (something that I have wondered about) and when he came out she got up and hugged and kissed him as he dressed. Again, they were so comfortable with each other that I just kept quiet as they seemed to stay in their own world. He thanked us for a very nice evening and we had some idle chat. When he put his shoes on and gave her a last kiss he walked over to me, shook my hand and just said, in such a deep almost truthful way, "thank you. Suzanna is a wonderful lady".

All I said was, "you are welcome" and with that he left and saying as he went out of the door that we should stay the night.

******

It now seems like almost a dream, an intense one at that. Thinking back to that night, like I said, it seemed I’d been treated to my own private porno movie right in front of my very eyes.

Even now, in my mind, I can still see, hear and even smell and feel them together and every time I do Suzanna laughs that my cock gets hard! One thing, she now believes me in full that I am okay about her fucking Peter.

I described it as humbling, not humiliating. Maybe that's because Peter was a nice guy about it. He wasn't really loud and neither was Suzanna for that matter. I suspected it was because they were a bit self-conscious about me being there. She did admit later on that she was concerned if Peter would be okay. She said she knew she would feel self-conscious herself but that if she just focused on Peter that she thought she'd be okay.

It was very - VERY - erotic watching them actually fucking. With 20:20 hindsight I do wish I'd moved in closer or had more of a role other than just a voyeur watching them.

I knew they'd fucked many times from how they behaved together. That was what I noticed, they were not awkward together, they were sort of well-rehearsed.

I can say that the moment I heard Peter arch his back and grunt as he was cumming in Suzanna was probably the most intense moment I've ever felt. I loved knowing she was eagerly letting him cum in her and seeing her holding her own legs back, that's a sign I've known forever that she wanted it deep in her.

Seeing the trickle of his sperm appear around his cock as he enjoyed remaining in her afterwards was incredibly arousing. It was the proof I'd always wanted to see, seeing him slip out of her and seeing her pussy still open and his semen visible in her is a moment I will cherish forever.

It was nice that he left like he did. It was a little awkward after they'd finished the second time as sort of ‘what do we say or do now’ kind of way. None of us seemed to feel that much at ease afterwards and I found it hard to say anything to Peter other than an occasional wow and, when he was leaving, that I said thank-you to him. It was awkward for us but after he left it felt so incredibly exciting for me to pull her down to the bed with me; the bed they'd fucked in. It still felt warm from them.

She giggled at me when she saw my huge hard-on. As I said, my response and reaction to her was what she needed to see and experience.

I remember how it seemed just so incredibly ‘appropriate’ when she just lay back under me and said quietly, "it's your turn now" and she just presented her well fucked body to me. All she said as I moved into position was, "be gentle, okay?”

I've fucked her many times after she's been with Peter but NEVER in such a short period of time. Even now 2+ weeks later the sensation of feeling her swollen and VERY wet pussy just accepting my cock is something I can never forget.

It wasn't that she felt so loose or gaping open inside. Actually, I've felt her more open and loose after I've used a dildo on her when we've been together alone and I've told her that we'll pretend/role-play that it's another guy fucking her. At those times I'll pull the dildo out of her and push my cock in and do that over and over telling her we're taking turns till she cums.

She didn't feel that loose but there was just this sensation of her being swollen and used that just blew my mind. Feeling the lips of her pussy just swallow me up, feeling the base of my cock pushing her open as wide as I could, knowing Peter was in her in the same place not more than minutes earlier just drove me crazy. When she said, and I will never forget this, "do you like how I feel?" that was it, when I let myself think about Peter’s cum being what I'm feeling inside her, I came so intensely it was incredible.

We laughed and giggled afterwards. I remember getting us a washcloth and cleaning up a bit before we simply got into bed and slept the night.

We had a ‘quickie’ the next morning. All I needed to do was let myself think about the night before and I got off lightning fast. After showering, we went home.

I can't say that I really feel any differently about her now. She hasn't mentioned Peter in over a week now in terms of her wanting to get together with him but it's been a busy few weeks with stuff on the weekends so we haven't had all that much time for sex in any case.

I will say that every time I look at her since that night that I see her in a new light and that all I can think of is having her.

******

Something that Suzanna and I discussed last night.

She thanked me over and over again for what I've encouraged her to do for herself and she more than made it clear to me that she really REALLY appreciated my staying with her and Peter as they fucked. In short, she said that from my response to staying with them, and then our time afterwards, that she does truly believe that I am okay with her being sexually active with others. She said several times how much it meant for me to be there with her and she made it a point to tell me that she was so relieved that I did truly enjoy being there. She emphasized that she really was happy that I was able to stay the whole time.

While she didn't say it, I knew what she was getting at was that she was VERY happy that I was okay with being there when Peter actually came inside her. I know to her that moment is very important when she has sex as she, like me, feels it is truly the moment of fulfilment. I told her that it was a bit heart wrenching at the time but seeing him, seeing them, at that moment was also very touching and arousing to me. Something about knowing he was actually cumming in her as I watched was, and still is, incredibly arousing to see and be a part of.

Later she opened up a bit more. She said she was sort of disappointed that Peter was no longer her ‘boy toy’, someone she could look forward to having a bit of fun with on a sort of regular basis. She said she does care for him a lot but that they both talked and realized that they had to stop the regular meetings because Peter said he felt like he couldn't do it and still have his family at home. She said that since his youngest was now almost 2 years old, that he wanted to be with his wife and family more.

Suzanna was okay about it. As she'd told me all along, she did love him but not in that way and that she felt like he is doing the right thing. Although she did add that she would probably ‘always have a place in her heart for him’ and said very plainly and clearly that she would probably always have an occasional roll-in-the-hay with him which she knew I would be okay with after being with them that night.

******

She’s told me it seems that Peter is ‘history’ and we won’t be seeing him around anymore. That was when she opened up more to me. She said that my having been there and truly being okay with all of her sex with other guys including my knowing just how much she truly gives to and enjoys with him, gave her the ‘courage’ to accept her desires too.

She said to me that there is another guy who she has her eye on. I was obviously turned on by this by, I guess, how I responded to what she said. I asked her more and she said only that he's someone she knows through work but not someone she works with. She said he is younger than her/us but older than Peter. He is single (actually divorced) and that she thinks she might like to ‘be with him’.

I asked her what she was thinking about when/where/how, etc. She said that she's sort of expressed to him that she's interested but he's very hesitant in that he knows she is married and she's not sure how to approach him or to tell him that she is available. Apparently he's a vendor that is in her office on an infrequent but somewhat regular basis and that he works supporting some sort of ‘office products’ or whatever and that this is his territory including her work place.

I told her that I would do whatever she wanted if it's what she wants. She was happy that I said that as she wanted to hear it from me that I would want and be okay with her having another sexual relationship. I asked her if she somehow wanted me to talk to him and she said, "no - not yet" that she needs to take the first steps but that she's so unsure of what to do as last time it was Peter who'd been chasing her!

I told her to think back to how she used to be before we were together if she were interested in a guy. She giggled at that and said she felt like a teenager again. I just told her that was great and she should just be herself and even tell him that.

She didn't tell me his name but I’m thinking it could be this guy Dan who she's mentioned in the past. I didn't push it.

So, it seems once she began to enjoy it for herself and once she knew for sure I was okay with what she was doing, that it was only a matter of time before she looked for another guy.

I'm actually totally okay with it. I knew something was up with how she seemed to be not all that down about the distance between her and Peter that I'd seen happening in the past few weeks. The way Peter just left this last time had almost made me think that they'd set that up just so Suzanna could have her ‘confidence’ that I was truly okay with her doing this stuff. Now that she knows that it's quite interesting to see her acting like this all giddy and giggly about a ‘new guy’".

As we move onto a new phase I wonder how this will work out but with him being divorced, I suspect that Suzanna may want a bit more out of this than just an infrequent date. I do think she very much missing the regularity she had with Peter and, between me and the bedpost, I hope it re-ignites some of her cuckoldress desires as I've sort of missed her teasing and ‘denial’.

******

Book full; need to open another.

*******
 
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I need to say you are doing a good job with these Curt.
 
peakmb said:
I need to say you are doing a good job with these Curt.
Thanks Peak - I am making steady progress and just so you know there are many more 'books' waiting to be drip-fed onto the forum. At this rate of progress we should still be reading about a journey that takes longer than the transit to Brexit!
 

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