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New Direction For 2017?
- Thread starterSoonToBe
- Start date
That is part of my thoughts for next week. But till we get there.
As far as after this next weekend. She's already started to tell me how she wants that to work. She isn't shy now about telling me that just as when we first started to date when I knew she was still fucking other guys, that this is going to be the same way and that it'll be up to me and "us" to decide when and if the balance starts to change. She reminded me she may have fucked me on the first date, but that we only saw each other once or twice a week at most. I know she's playing with me but at the same time, she is making it clear that how things go will be dependent on me.
At the same time I am also now very aware that we are on the edge right now and that she's made it clear that if things continue as they have been, that decisions will be made and things will be put into motion that may not be changeable. Nor am I clear about whether things will change regarding condom usage, or whether that's also something that will "evolve".
I am happy she is being as good about this as she is, I do realize I've put her in an awkward position and made her toy with her emotions a bit too much.
As far as after this next weekend. She's already started to tell me how she wants that to work. She isn't shy now about telling me that just as when we first started to date when I knew she was still fucking other guys, that this is going to be the same way and that it'll be up to me and "us" to decide when and if the balance starts to change. She reminded me she may have fucked me on the first date, but that we only saw each other once or twice a week at most. I know she's playing with me but at the same time, she is making it clear that how things go will be dependent on me.
At the same time I am also now very aware that we are on the edge right now and that she's made it clear that if things continue as they have been, that decisions will be made and things will be put into motion that may not be changeable. Nor am I clear about whether things will change regarding condom usage, or whether that's also something that will "evolve".
I am happy she is being as good about this as she is, I do realize I've put her in an awkward position and made her toy with her emotions a bit too much.
STB: you have one week to sort out your emotions before you and Sue have a very serious discussion. A discussion that will determine the relationship the two of you have, for the rest of your married life.
You seem to be adept at the business world, so in preparation, you might want to frame this like you were going into a "performance review" at work.
You need to avoid asking: What do you "see" happening in the next 1 year, 2 years, or 5 years. This is like fortune telling. It's as if you are on a rudderless ship, subject to the whims of winds and waves, assuming they will both come from the same direction, from now until eternity
You need to ask yourself: What do you "want" out of your relationship with Sue for the next 1 year, 2 years, and 5 years. Then what are you going to do, proactively, to make that "want" into a reality. How (or whom) is going to steer the rudder and guide this relationship and marriage, so all are happy, satisfied, and at peace.
Sue has tried different tacts on you to get your desires out in the open, and you have zigged and zagged. You have told her what you think you want, and now that it may come true, you are seeing some serious consequences.
Think about this deeply, as it will have consequences on your relationship, and marriage.
You seem to be adept at the business world, so in preparation, you might want to frame this like you were going into a "performance review" at work.
You need to avoid asking: What do you "see" happening in the next 1 year, 2 years, or 5 years. This is like fortune telling. It's as if you are on a rudderless ship, subject to the whims of winds and waves, assuming they will both come from the same direction, from now until eternity
You need to ask yourself: What do you "want" out of your relationship with Sue for the next 1 year, 2 years, and 5 years. Then what are you going to do, proactively, to make that "want" into a reality. How (or whom) is going to steer the rudder and guide this relationship and marriage, so all are happy, satisfied, and at peace.
Sue has tried different tacts on you to get your desires out in the open, and you have zigged and zagged. You have told her what you think you want, and now that it may come true, you are seeing some serious consequences.
Think about this deeply, as it will have consequences on your relationship, and marriage.
Steve,
You are still talking about what Sue may or may not allow. Yet she has said that if you are to resume any sort of sex life with her that you would have to PUT YOURSELF into that life. A blind man with a stick can see the message here. Whatever happens, you are going to have to make the running. Try something, and if that doesn't work try something else until something works. You will get points for trying, for being consistent, for not taking no for an answer and finally for winning her back, albeit to SHARE with Paul.
When you do, I say again, no matter what your current preference, you know Sue prefers her real sex to be without condoms. You may go back to PLAY with them but for now you must surely be aiming for parity in her eyes. Azsurfer has pointed the way, you need to decide what you want, not try to decide what Sue wants.
In terms of strategy and tactics, I still can't see how you can go skiing with them on the same terms as the last trip. That just makes your next steps all the harder. With the change of plan last weekend, Paul will already be getting some wind of change. If you don't stay with them on the ski trip, that message to him gets clearer irrespective of what Sue may be saying currently. At the moment, you don't fully know their true relationship but your passive disruption will be helpful in unpicking some elements of it before a sharing relationship can be re-established.
I also believe you need to be laying off the masturbation a bit. You need to resensitize yourself back to the real thing. Sue needs to believe that flashing her pussy is getting you excited because you think you are going to use it, not merely look at it. She may still use it to dominate you in some way, but it will be with you in it if she does. Sue is not going to make this easy for you. She is going to continue to push the buttons that previously excited your beta side. You are going to have to see this for what it is and resist it somehow. You may falter at times but stick with it. If you do truly want to return to sharing then this a price you will have to pay.
Again this starts by you saying the ski weekend will no longer excite you and you are not participating.
Good luck.
You are still talking about what Sue may or may not allow. Yet she has said that if you are to resume any sort of sex life with her that you would have to PUT YOURSELF into that life. A blind man with a stick can see the message here. Whatever happens, you are going to have to make the running. Try something, and if that doesn't work try something else until something works. You will get points for trying, for being consistent, for not taking no for an answer and finally for winning her back, albeit to SHARE with Paul.
When you do, I say again, no matter what your current preference, you know Sue prefers her real sex to be without condoms. You may go back to PLAY with them but for now you must surely be aiming for parity in her eyes. Azsurfer has pointed the way, you need to decide what you want, not try to decide what Sue wants.
In terms of strategy and tactics, I still can't see how you can go skiing with them on the same terms as the last trip. That just makes your next steps all the harder. With the change of plan last weekend, Paul will already be getting some wind of change. If you don't stay with them on the ski trip, that message to him gets clearer irrespective of what Sue may be saying currently. At the moment, you don't fully know their true relationship but your passive disruption will be helpful in unpicking some elements of it before a sharing relationship can be re-established.
I also believe you need to be laying off the masturbation a bit. You need to resensitize yourself back to the real thing. Sue needs to believe that flashing her pussy is getting you excited because you think you are going to use it, not merely look at it. She may still use it to dominate you in some way, but it will be with you in it if she does. Sue is not going to make this easy for you. She is going to continue to push the buttons that previously excited your beta side. You are going to have to see this for what it is and resist it somehow. You may falter at times but stick with it. If you do truly want to return to sharing then this a price you will have to pay.
Again this starts by you saying the ski weekend will no longer excite you and you are not participating.
Good luck.
Steve,
So far you appear to have lacked clarity as to whether you would attend next week's last ski weekend. I believe it is only reasonable now to give Sue sufficient notice to gather her own thoughts and to decide what to say to Paul. That would mean telling her your final decision, either way, today.
So far you appear to have lacked clarity as to whether you would attend next week's last ski weekend. I believe it is only reasonable now to give Sue sufficient notice to gather her own thoughts and to decide what to say to Paul. That would mean telling her your final decision, either way, today.
Steve,
If you truly love your wife and you have the alpha feelings you state you are feeling, then you will be there this weekend. Being a man whether alpha or beta means stepping up to your commitments and not shirking from them. You asked for this game, and the role play turned real, you agreed to a time frame, and this in theory is the final point your wife asked of you.
So are you a beta man with alpha tendencies, or are you a beta boy. If you don't show up ... you definitely don't deserve to have sex with her and should step aside for Paul for the foreseeable future.
Be a man, go there, watch her, tend to her needs and suck up every painful, wonderful, angstful minute. If it hurts good, use it to motiviate yourself to realize that now you have to compete for her sex and affection from now on. If it is wonderful revel in it and know you have achieved the status of cuckold.
But the days and access to 100% of your wife is over ... the question is do you get 0% or 50% ... or some number in between.
If you truly love your wife and you have the alpha feelings you state you are feeling, then you will be there this weekend. Being a man whether alpha or beta means stepping up to your commitments and not shirking from them. You asked for this game, and the role play turned real, you agreed to a time frame, and this in theory is the final point your wife asked of you.
So are you a beta man with alpha tendencies, or are you a beta boy. If you don't show up ... you definitely don't deserve to have sex with her and should step aside for Paul for the foreseeable future.
Be a man, go there, watch her, tend to her needs and suck up every painful, wonderful, angstful minute. If it hurts good, use it to motiviate yourself to realize that now you have to compete for her sex and affection from now on. If it is wonderful revel in it and know you have achieved the status of cuckold.
But the days and access to 100% of your wife is over ... the question is do you get 0% or 50% ... or some number in between.
Teg,
I fully understand your point. A deal is a deal. Honour your commitments. Maybe you are right, in most circumstances you are. But...
1. Sue changed the rules and the consequences after Steve had committed to the 8 week trial.
2. Sue set the trial when she thought all three of them would enjoy it in their own way.
3. Sue clearly went beyond the agreement in the first weekend and then used this to belittle Steve as someone not worthy of her pussy. To do the same a second time is to accept this treatment and condone it.
4. Steve seems to be in a weakened and delicate emotional state at the moment. This has the potential to make him worse.
So, if Steve goes he should go with some safeguards in place. The thing is, even with these, could he still go without creating further damage to his sex life potential, and with them, could Sue get the 100% experience she wants to try. On balance I think it's cleaner to not go but if they can agree conduct rules then it could work. I'd be interested in your view on this. We seem unlikely to get Steve's though!
I fully understand your point. A deal is a deal. Honour your commitments. Maybe you are right, in most circumstances you are. But...
1. Sue changed the rules and the consequences after Steve had committed to the 8 week trial.
2. Sue set the trial when she thought all three of them would enjoy it in their own way.
3. Sue clearly went beyond the agreement in the first weekend and then used this to belittle Steve as someone not worthy of her pussy. To do the same a second time is to accept this treatment and condone it.
4. Steve seems to be in a weakened and delicate emotional state at the moment. This has the potential to make him worse.
So, if Steve goes he should go with some safeguards in place. The thing is, even with these, could he still go without creating further damage to his sex life potential, and with them, could Sue get the 100% experience she wants to try. On balance I think it's cleaner to not go but if they can agree conduct rules then it could work. I'd be interested in your view on this. We seem unlikely to get Steve's though!
I am going to view this from a "master" role, which Sue is in. My perspective is that she is trying to give Steve what he asked for, and part of his ask was for her to have full sexual independence. What guys that are submissive or folks that top from the bottom don't seem to get is that what is dominance to the person with the fantasy probably isn't what is dominance to the person providing the dominance. The question is what level of intimacy will remain ... as we only see his view and not hers.
But as you aptly (and others have stated too) we only see one part of the story through one perspective.
So in short ... I agree with you ... he should communicate his concerns, but realize they may fall on deaf ears since Sue has asked him repeatedly if he was sure he wanted to do this (i.e. safeword now or hold your piece until after). He said yes ... so my comment is that this implied both ski trips. I am sure some of this wasn't easy for Sue at all ... but the "horses are out of the barn" on these discussions until after this weekend.
As a tact used with parents with kids that are caught smoking ..... she maybe providing a condition where she is stating ... here is a carton of cigarettes, you are going to sit here and smoke them until they are gone ... then we can talk about your smoking.
The reality is they have been playing the hotwife, and cuckold game for a while, and she clearly stated at the beginning she didn't want to do the "full" cuckold path. She wanted the love and attention of her husband and sex from him along with sex with her lover. Now that she has done some of this ... she has found some interest in things that she didn't realize, and this is the Pandora's box that has been opened. It can't be closed ... the question is (as I stated before) .... If he wants to be an alpha he will have to earn it back from 0% sex with his wife including without condom's .... and if he desires exclusivity with Sue ... he will have to learn how to satisfy his wife without the kink to the tune of the current sexual appetitie of Paul + Steve ....
I am for Steve whether he wants to remain a cuckold ... or whether he powers himself back into an alpha role. IMO I think his wife wants him to reclaim her as it will validate her needs (and most womens) that they be 100% desired and loved.
I don't know if that helps or confuses .... but I hope Steve gets what he wants .... whatever that maybe.
But as you aptly (and others have stated too) we only see one part of the story through one perspective.
So in short ... I agree with you ... he should communicate his concerns, but realize they may fall on deaf ears since Sue has asked him repeatedly if he was sure he wanted to do this (i.e. safeword now or hold your piece until after). He said yes ... so my comment is that this implied both ski trips. I am sure some of this wasn't easy for Sue at all ... but the "horses are out of the barn" on these discussions until after this weekend.
As a tact used with parents with kids that are caught smoking ..... she maybe providing a condition where she is stating ... here is a carton of cigarettes, you are going to sit here and smoke them until they are gone ... then we can talk about your smoking.
The reality is they have been playing the hotwife, and cuckold game for a while, and she clearly stated at the beginning she didn't want to do the "full" cuckold path. She wanted the love and attention of her husband and sex from him along with sex with her lover. Now that she has done some of this ... she has found some interest in things that she didn't realize, and this is the Pandora's box that has been opened. It can't be closed ... the question is (as I stated before) .... If he wants to be an alpha he will have to earn it back from 0% sex with his wife including without condom's .... and if he desires exclusivity with Sue ... he will have to learn how to satisfy his wife without the kink to the tune of the current sexual appetitie of Paul + Steve ....
I am for Steve whether he wants to remain a cuckold ... or whether he powers himself back into an alpha role. IMO I think his wife wants him to reclaim her as it will validate her needs (and most womens) that they be 100% desired and loved.
I don't know if that helps or confuses .... but I hope Steve gets what he wants .... whatever that maybe.
Seems STB has taken to internalize his angst and indecision. I suspect we can write this thread off. The End is near. Good luck STB. I wish you the best but I understand you are no longer interested in sharing. Enjoy. I'll be departing being engaged with you so you can feel you no longer need to keep us informed.
I am sure whatever the path Steve is following it is a pretty intense one. He has provided a fascinating view on a guy following the path. It could also be he had a very enlightening and entertaining weekend, and then had a full week of work and maybe 100% consumed.
I guess all we can ask and hope for is come this weekend he has the time to write something up or if it is a farewell that he is able to do that ... so we can give him last thanks ... or ... thank him for a new beginning ....
I guess all we can ask and hope for is come this weekend he has the time to write something up or if it is a farewell that he is able to do that ... so we can give him last thanks ... or ... thank him for a new beginning ....
Some interesting remarks from someone that just signed up on this forum today.
As far as Steve is concerned, he had previously advised us all that he may be spending a lot less time on the forum and more time focused on his relationship with Sue. He may again post here or he may not. My last post on this thread was 10 days ago and this will likely be my last post on this thread unless Steve does another update. Steve will likely post again once he and Sue have transitioned into their next phase of this journey.
For his sake, I do hope that he and Sue have come to an agreement that works for each of them individually and for them as a couple.
As far as Steve is concerned, he had previously advised us all that he may be spending a lot less time on the forum and more time focused on his relationship with Sue. He may again post here or he may not. My last post on this thread was 10 days ago and this will likely be my last post on this thread unless Steve does another update. Steve will likely post again once he and Sue have transitioned into their next phase of this journey.
For his sake, I do hope that he and Sue have come to an agreement that works for each of them individually and for them as a couple.
Given the history, volume and detail of your posts STB, I find it extremely doubtful that you've thrown in the towel on sharing the journey you and Sue are on.
Sue had posed the question which we, your readers, will hopefully see answered over the coming months or year: namely, how can you transition from near total acceptance of condom-only or no maritial sex for the rest of your life, to reassuming a more alpha role in your sexual relations with her. The latter direction being in sharp contrast to that which you have pursued for nearly a decade now.
It seems to me STB that you are an excellent example of how intoxicating this kink is, because physically you are an alpha who has never had a problem providing Sue with sexual satisfaction. Yet here you are torn between your physical alphaness and the need to experience that cuckold high you get when Paul and Sue are coming in unison while you are denied bare or any entry. It's easy to see why you have a history of sometimes 'topping from the bottom'. You so want to go all in but your man enough to not want to give it all up. Only you and Sue can work out what's best for you two.
Sue does love you very much I believe - no matter what direction, if any, you move towards.
I'll be tuning in regularly for updates.
Good luck.
Sue had posed the question which we, your readers, will hopefully see answered over the coming months or year: namely, how can you transition from near total acceptance of condom-only or no maritial sex for the rest of your life, to reassuming a more alpha role in your sexual relations with her. The latter direction being in sharp contrast to that which you have pursued for nearly a decade now.
It seems to me STB that you are an excellent example of how intoxicating this kink is, because physically you are an alpha who has never had a problem providing Sue with sexual satisfaction. Yet here you are torn between your physical alphaness and the need to experience that cuckold high you get when Paul and Sue are coming in unison while you are denied bare or any entry. It's easy to see why you have a history of sometimes 'topping from the bottom'. You so want to go all in but your man enough to not want to give it all up. Only you and Sue can work out what's best for you two.
Sue does love you very much I believe - no matter what direction, if any, you move towards.
I'll be tuning in regularly for updates.
Good luck.
It's almost eight days now since Steve even logged onto the site, probably more since he read through this thread. If a week is a long time in politics (just ask Voldemort), it most certainly must been so for Steve. He's had a lot to process, been away, no doubt had to catch up with his job, and perhaps had several difficult discussions with Sue. I don't think he has a path forward at this point that doesn't involve pain of some sort. Not only for him but for Sue and quite possibly Paul too.
So, a rational man would hold off reporting until the fog has cleared somewhat. Until he has at least some idea of what has happened, what is happening and what may be about to happen. He's no doubt feeling ******* and vulnerable, there's no point adding rash and stupid to it.
As SS has also said above, Steve has also said he wants to cut down his posting. He knows he has to progress with his life and maybe this was getting in the way for the moment. Even so, Steve has put in an enormous amount over many years now and he doesn't seem like the guy to just go. Even if he stops or reduces his updates to an infrequent trickle I do believe he will update us all on what he and Sue have agreed on and how he is feeling.
Time will tell gents.
So, a rational man would hold off reporting until the fog has cleared somewhat. Until he has at least some idea of what has happened, what is happening and what may be about to happen. He's no doubt feeling ******* and vulnerable, there's no point adding rash and stupid to it.
As SS has also said above, Steve has also said he wants to cut down his posting. He knows he has to progress with his life and maybe this was getting in the way for the moment. Even so, Steve has put in an enormous amount over many years now and he doesn't seem like the guy to just go. Even if he stops or reduces his updates to an infrequent trickle I do believe he will update us all on what he and Sue have agreed on and how he is feeling.
Time will tell gents.
Hello everyone. Not sure where to start and again, I haven't fully read everyone's posts before I am writing this.
I guess there's no other way to put it than re-entry has been more complex and somewhat more difficult than I had hoped or expected, again deferring to others here, I can say you were right in many ways.
What is rewarding is that since the ski-weekend she has assured me that our love for each other (both ways) remains strong but she's also shared and told me a lot of things that have sobered me up so-to-speak.
The main thing she's shared with me is that she feels that I sort of ****** her into feeling more with Paul and that over 2+ years that she now feels that it's more than just having sex with him, that she now feels the same feelings with him about sex as she does (or did) with me and she pretty much said that she's not sure she wants to change that.
I told her it was hard to hear that but that I knew it was true and that I knew it was me that had pushed her to put me into a beta-role and that even when she pushed things with me, I still wanted her to continue. She told me that while she thought she'd "felt everything" with Robert, that she admitted to me that she now "cums with Paul" even more easily than with anyone including me - but she clarified when she added "now". She told me that for her, as a woman, it took a lot to let herself go with Paul the way I had wanted - and she reminded me again that I told her that if she was horny at all that she should look to Paul. I told her I knew that I'd put her in a difficult position and that I knew my sooner-than-expected request to no longer be a complete-beta was something that we were going to have to discuss.
The ski-weekend was quite an experience as I said, Sue had made it clear that she was going to push things with Paul and intentionally "push my nose in it". To say they fucked is an understatement. From the moment he arrived, she virtually ignored me. I can't and won't provide too many details because I am sure that based on the things she did and said/moaned - that others would further read into the conspiracy theorists here. But I can say that she was quite explicit including not just making sure that I was there (or at least aware) of every time he fucked her - and he fucked her many times (many times he fucked her just to get her to cum - but he pulled out of her still hard and waited till later on) - and surely every time he came in her. And there were several times where she lay (or knelt) there afterwards to make sure I saw her. He came in her both mornings before we went out to ski and she made it clear to me that she could feel his cum all day in her.
She told me that she has no plans on stopping seeing Paul and that wasn't an option.
Before I run for now - I wanted to share that we did have sex on Valentines Day. She told me on the way home from skiing that she hoped we would be together for Valentines Day. I had already planned a nice night out - reservations at a nice restaurant, nice card and flowers - and I told her that would be a wonderful way to end the evening together. When last Tuesday arrived she told me that she hoped things would be good for us later on and I told her I did too. When we got home from dinner she went up to our bedroom and for the first time in a long time she told me she felt a little excited and aroused at having sex with me and that she felt horny as she picked out some lingerie to wear for me.
I didn't tell her that it turned me on that I'd seen her wearing that same lingerie when she was with Paul, she just giggled at how turned on I was and how hard my cock was. We got into bed together and we both laughed that it felt a little weird at both of us feeling horny for each other and at the same time a little awkward. I did get her to cum several times before it was time for us to fuck for the first time in a while. She looked just beautiful laying back this time for me. And as I said, I felt some of those alpha urges again. It truly felt almost normal when I moved to kneel between her legs. I was eager but also a little hesitant - I wasn't sure what to expect - and yes, I wasn't sure whether it was what either of us wanted. She felt it - I guess she was feeling the same way - she looked up at me and said "you want to?" and I asked her "do you want me to?" Almost at the same time we both said about the same thing - that maybe we should ease back into things a little more slowly and she looked up at me and said "do you mind?" and I knew what she was saying and I shook my head "no" and told her I agreed. She smiled as I rolled the condom on and as I pushed into her for the first time she smiled at me and said "that's better".
I guess there's no other way to put it than re-entry has been more complex and somewhat more difficult than I had hoped or expected, again deferring to others here, I can say you were right in many ways.
What is rewarding is that since the ski-weekend she has assured me that our love for each other (both ways) remains strong but she's also shared and told me a lot of things that have sobered me up so-to-speak.
The main thing she's shared with me is that she feels that I sort of ****** her into feeling more with Paul and that over 2+ years that she now feels that it's more than just having sex with him, that she now feels the same feelings with him about sex as she does (or did) with me and she pretty much said that she's not sure she wants to change that.
I told her it was hard to hear that but that I knew it was true and that I knew it was me that had pushed her to put me into a beta-role and that even when she pushed things with me, I still wanted her to continue. She told me that while she thought she'd "felt everything" with Robert, that she admitted to me that she now "cums with Paul" even more easily than with anyone including me - but she clarified when she added "now". She told me that for her, as a woman, it took a lot to let herself go with Paul the way I had wanted - and she reminded me again that I told her that if she was horny at all that she should look to Paul. I told her I knew that I'd put her in a difficult position and that I knew my sooner-than-expected request to no longer be a complete-beta was something that we were going to have to discuss.
The ski-weekend was quite an experience as I said, Sue had made it clear that she was going to push things with Paul and intentionally "push my nose in it". To say they fucked is an understatement. From the moment he arrived, she virtually ignored me. I can't and won't provide too many details because I am sure that based on the things she did and said/moaned - that others would further read into the conspiracy theorists here. But I can say that she was quite explicit including not just making sure that I was there (or at least aware) of every time he fucked her - and he fucked her many times (many times he fucked her just to get her to cum - but he pulled out of her still hard and waited till later on) - and surely every time he came in her. And there were several times where she lay (or knelt) there afterwards to make sure I saw her. He came in her both mornings before we went out to ski and she made it clear to me that she could feel his cum all day in her.
She told me that she has no plans on stopping seeing Paul and that wasn't an option.
Before I run for now - I wanted to share that we did have sex on Valentines Day. She told me on the way home from skiing that she hoped we would be together for Valentines Day. I had already planned a nice night out - reservations at a nice restaurant, nice card and flowers - and I told her that would be a wonderful way to end the evening together. When last Tuesday arrived she told me that she hoped things would be good for us later on and I told her I did too. When we got home from dinner she went up to our bedroom and for the first time in a long time she told me she felt a little excited and aroused at having sex with me and that she felt horny as she picked out some lingerie to wear for me.
I didn't tell her that it turned me on that I'd seen her wearing that same lingerie when she was with Paul, she just giggled at how turned on I was and how hard my cock was. We got into bed together and we both laughed that it felt a little weird at both of us feeling horny for each other and at the same time a little awkward. I did get her to cum several times before it was time for us to fuck for the first time in a while. She looked just beautiful laying back this time for me. And as I said, I felt some of those alpha urges again. It truly felt almost normal when I moved to kneel between her legs. I was eager but also a little hesitant - I wasn't sure what to expect - and yes, I wasn't sure whether it was what either of us wanted. She felt it - I guess she was feeling the same way - she looked up at me and said "you want to?" and I asked her "do you want me to?" Almost at the same time we both said about the same thing - that maybe we should ease back into things a little more slowly and she looked up at me and said "do you mind?" and I knew what she was saying and I shook my head "no" and told her I agreed. She smiled as I rolled the condom on and as I pushed into her for the first time she smiled at me and said "that's better".
Steve,
I am sure that you are going to receive a number of differing viewpoints on your post. First off, I would like to say that I appreciate your update and do find much of the conflicting feeling in which you are having typical of a couple going through this phase. What you have described is what many of us on both sides of the spectrum have cautioned you about. It is very difficult to go as long as you both have without eventually transitioning the relationship on some level to something very different than what it began has. While you go done this path, you will continue to have decisions to make individually and as a couple. No matter your decision, I truly do wish you the best of luck on the journey.
SS
I am sure that you are going to receive a number of differing viewpoints on your post. First off, I would like to say that I appreciate your update and do find much of the conflicting feeling in which you are having typical of a couple going through this phase. What you have described is what many of us on both sides of the spectrum have cautioned you about. It is very difficult to go as long as you both have without eventually transitioning the relationship on some level to something very different than what it began has. While you go done this path, you will continue to have decisions to make individually and as a couple. No matter your decision, I truly do wish you the best of luck on the journey.
SS
